I just broke up with her the night before last because she’s a disrespectful and incredibly selfish whore. I met her at the little league park about a year ago. Her son and I are umpiring a game tonight (I’m training him—he’s fourteen).
Anyway, due to the shitty economy and the fact that the little league baseball season is about to end here in Florida, I’m gonna need a good way to occupy my time and keep me from cracking open the 401k for the purposes of stocking my bar and showing my liver how we do it in the F L A. So I figured I’d write about baseball. I love the sport, do a damn good live blog (my live blogs are so fresh, it’s like I’m in your living room, watching the game and totally ganking your last beer—sorry dude) and regularly bone strange females. And I mean, what more do you want from a blog than live blogs, stories about sports, and ruminations on bitches? Nothing. Nothing is what you want because you are now that satiated.
And anyway, you don’t exist yet because this is my first post.
My name is Captain Rickety. And it’s my job to keep this ship afloat. And stay away from the hard liquor.
